Will you wear a bit of purple today? It’s in the ‘spirit’ of the “It Get’s Better” anthem that has been building momentum due to the recent focus on suicides of gay teens that have suffered bullying, etc. I would also like to expand the “It Get’s Better” idea to all of our youth that have been the subject of bullying, prejudice or just plain meanness (as my granny would have called it). Whether because you are/were a geek, a nerd, a wall-flower, looked different, dressed different, etc, bullies have focused on more than just gays. We all need a reminder that, for the most part, it does get better. 

I’ll be wearing purple to signify my belief that, in the darkest of times and when we most despair, often, not always but often, if we just hold out a little longer…

It Gets Better.

http://www.glaad.org/spiritday

5 Things You Won’t Believe Aren’t In the Bible

As a predominantly Christian people, Westerners think they know the Bible pretty well. But not everybody realizes that many of the most iconic features of Christianity were never mentioned by the holy book or the church, but were actually pulled from the ass of some poet or artist years after God turned in his final draft of the Bible.

Things like …

The image of an angel is so recognizable that you can immediately spot one if somebody makes its shape in some snow. They’re sparkly people with two white wings and occasionally swords, who sit on clouds ripping out awesome harp solos while protecting humans from harm. So basically, the protagonists of the next Stephenie Meyer novel.

The sex scene will be as unsettling as it is improbable.

The Only Problem Is …

Now, there are angels in the Bible. But if you encountered some of the angels it describes, you’d probably need a shotgun under your bed to sleep soundly for the rest of your life.*

*NOTE: that is a joke. If angels turn out to be real, and you encounter one, do not shoot it with a shotgun.

There are several kinds of angels in the Bible and you’ve probably heard about some of them, like archangels, cherubim and seraphim. They all look different, and very few actually have wings. Those who do, like the seraphim, actually have six wings and need all of them to cover their body, lest they blind/incinerate whoever is unlucky enough to bump into one.

This is a seraph, trying with all its might not to burn you alive.

Then there are the thrones, which are described in the Bible as “wheels within wheels,” the rims of which are covered in eyes.

Whatever it is, we’re pretty sure it can see.

Then we have the cutest order of angels, the cherubim. As we all know, a cherub is a baby angel, usually with a little bow and arrow and a leaf protecting his modesty. Except that Ezekiel 10:14 describes them as frightening four-headed monstrosities that included the faces of a man, an eagle and a lion.

Actually Came From:

Painters took liberties when portraying angels, and just like putting capes on superheroes, giving them wings was a visually interesting way to identify who was the angel in a painting full of regular dudes (wings were also used in the early church to denote that these creatures lived in the sky). Archangels like Michael and Gabriel were given contemporary military garb.

Which apparently included “hair like a lady.”

Cherubs in particular didn’t get their extreme makeover until Renaissance sculptors revived the ancient practice of putti, which depicted cute babies dancing and playing around on infant tombs. The rediscovery and reimplementation of these little cuties brought Cupid-esque cherubs into vogue, as demonstrated by Tomba di Ilaria del Carretto:

Whaddya know? Those dancing naked babies do make this tomb less unsettling.

Lastly, the thing about the harps was actually invented by John Milton who wrote about angels “plucking harps” in Paradise Lost, basically just because it was the cutest thing he could pull out of his ass.

The devil, also known as Satan, Beelzebub, Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, Mr. Scratch, Old Nick and Al Pacino, is the cloven-hoofed, pitchfork-wielding, red-skinned, horned king of hell and founder of the metal genre of music. He’s also a gambler and a businessman, willing to make bets or contracts with you and grant you wishes/musical abilities in exchange for your immortal soul. He looks like this:

The Only Problem Is …

Not one inch of that is in the Bible. Anywhere. Not even the goatee (and this is a book where every other character has a goatee. Or at least we picture it that way).

So what does Satan look like in the Bible? We don’t know — he’s never physically described except when he visits Eve as a snake, and some think that the snake in the Garden of Eden wasn’t actually Satan anyway. Other than that, he’s just a disembodied ghost-voice, kind of like a really evil Obi-Wan Kenobi.

“You should totally try crystal meth.”

Actually Came From:

Medieval artists who wanted to portray the devil visually had to take a bit of artistic license, generally drawing whatever seemed evil at the time. No single source is responsible for the common depiction of Old Nick, but he picked up bits and pieces of his traditional costume as time went on, like a hipster trawling dozens of op shops over the course of a month.

Speaking of hipsters, what about that pitchfork? It’s really a trident, a popular accessory of the Greek and Roman gods. The horns? Possibly a hand-me-down from animal-worshipping religions that Christianity didn’t like. Scholars believe that Satan got his goat-legs as recently as the 19th century during the Romantic period, when neo-paganism came into vogue and a lot of writers, poets and artists started talking up the Greek goat-god Pan as a source of their inspiration, a claim about which numerous panties became quite tightly knotted.

Imagine this guy with a pitchfork.

As for the devil’s famous habit of gambling with people’s souls, that’s not canonical either. Though his job is to tempt people to sin, he never grants anybody miraculous powers. We have an old German legend to thank for that. The legend of Faust, made popular later when it was dramatized by Christopher Marlowe, tells the story of a doctor who gets bored and decides to strike a deal with Lucifer in return for knowledge, converting the devil from the Prince of Darkness into a shady snake-oil salesman.

Alas, the devil got more emo with time.

The cup that Jesus drank out of during the Last Supper is the ultimate lost treasure, having become a slang term for anything long sought-after or world-changing. And while the Indiana Jones franchise seems to think drinking from the legendary cup will grant you eternal life and heal gunshot wounds, the exact kind of magic powers we can expect to obtain when we find it is a matter of dispute.

Also, there’s the question of whether it’s a cup, a bowl or, as Dan Brown speculated, a holy vagina.

We’d tap that.

The Only Problem Is …

If you try to find the story of the magical cup in the Bible, you’ll wind up flipping around confused, thinking you’ve got an abridged version or something. While the Bible does mention Jesus using a cup during the Last Supper, the cup itself is not treated any more importantly than anything else in the scene. It’d make just as much sense to say the table itself is holy, or the chairs, or the menu, or the leftovers, or the tip.

“I only see 11 dollars. Someone’s holding out … Judas, I’m looking in your direction …”

Actually Came From:

The Holy Grail was first invoked just as a plot-driving device in the legend of King Arthur. Even then, the item that Arthur’s army sought was not Jesus’ cup at all — it was a magic cauldron. Since cauldrons were used quite often at parties and Celtic sleepovers, having a magic cauldron would come off today like a plate of nachos that never ended or a bottomless beer keg.

If only this moment could be eternal…

It was the French poet Chretien de Troyes who reinterpreted the Arthurian legend as a quest for the Holy Grail. And even then, the Grail was not a cup, but rather something resembling a really nice serving dish.

No, it was another poet, Robert de Boron, who planted the Jesus-cup story in the world’s consciousness. According to his (quite fictional) masterwork Joseph d’Arimathe, the cup was used by Joseph of Arimathea to collect Jesus’ blood and sweat after his crucifixion.

Just look at the man’s dorag — you know he was into some freaky shit.

It was his possession of the Grail that granted him the Jesus-powers to survive his own death and burial, and then for some reason he delivered it to Britain. This provided not only the first description of the Grail as Jesus’ cup, but also an explanation as to why the hell we’re looking for a piece of Israeli tableware in goddamn England.

Yep. Definitely a vagina.

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http://www.cracked.com/article_18757_5-things-you-wont-believe-arent-in-bible_p2.html

25 Pickup Lines to Use on New Bookworm Dating Site Alikewise

11:39 am Friday Aug 6, 2010 by Judy Berman

We suppose it was inevitable. You’ve seen Cupidtino, the dating site for Apple fans. And then there’s Tastebuds, which forges love connections between indie rockers. Now, to the surprise of absolutely no one, two Matts have launchedAlikewise, a site that matches singles based on their taste in books. Just in case you were thinking of joining up and meeting your bookworm soul mate, we’ve put together this handy list of 25 pickup lines to use on the library-loving hottie of your dreams.

 

I’ll be a Jane around the house but a Bertha in bed.

Wait until you see the size of my… Philip K. Dick library.

Just like James Joyce, I know how to make a girl go, “yes I said yes I will Yes.”

I’m a classic Horatio Alger story — namely, Ragged Dick and Struggling Upward.

You’re so hunky, you must be hiding a rapidly aging portrait somewhere in your attic.

I wasn’t a big fan of “Eat” or “Pray,” but there ain’t nothin’ wrong with “Love.”

Girl, you’re so flawless, even James Wood couldn’t find anything to criticize.

Hey, baby, the sun is not the only thing that also rises.

I know why the caged bird sings — because I’m that good, that’s why.

I love the way you fill out an Amazon wishlist.

Do you know how I can contact Sherlock Holmes? Because I need to solve the mystery of how to win your heart.

Good fences make good neighbors — except when that neighbor looks like you.

Naked Lunch, anyone?

Welcome to my apartment — or, as the ladies like to call it, The Joy Luck Club.

How about you and I re-write The Story of O together?

Will you be the Tropic of Cancer to my Delta of Venus?

I would endure a Dan Brown novel, if that’s what it took to win your heart.

You know Bookslut? They named it after me.

I’m looking for a Malcolm Gladwell fan who can get me over the tipping point in the blink of an eye.

We could make such a beautiful library together.

I hope you’re one of the best minds of my generation, because I’d sure like to see you naked.

Forget the New Yorker. You’d make my 20 Under 40 list any day.

Single white female seeks Brooklyn-dwelling Jonathan for coffee-shop work dates, long walks in Prospect Park, baby-making.

Little-known fact: The Sound and the Fury wasn’t named after Macbeth — it was inspired by a night with me.

I finished Infinite Jest. Wanna bone?

Reading Is Sexy image by Sarah Utter. Buy her stuff here.

http://flavorwire.com/110100/25-pickup-lines-to-use-on-new-bookworm-dating-site-alikewise

Military recruiters told to accept gay applicants

The Defense Department said Tuesday that it is accepting openly gay recruits, but is warning applicants they might not be allowed to stick around for long.

By ANNE FLAHERTY

Associated Press Writer

The Defense Department said Tuesday that it is accepting openly gay recruits, but is warning applicants they might not be allowed to stick around for long.

Following last week’s court ruling that struck down a 1993 law banning gays from serving openly, the military has suspended enforcement of the rule known as “don’t ask, don’t tell.” The Justice Department is appealing the decision and has asked the courts for a temporary stay on the ruling.

The Defense Department said it would comply with the law and had frozen any discharge cases. But at least one case was reported of a man being turned away from an Army recruiting office in Austin, Texas.

Pentagon spokeswoman Cynthia Smith on Tuesday confirmed that recruiters had been given top-level guidance to accept applicants who say they are gay.

Recruiters also have been told to inform potential recruits that the moratorium on enforcement of “don’t ask, don’t tell” could be reversed at any point, if the ruling is appealed or the court grants a stay, she said.

The uncertain status of the law has caused much confusion within an institution that has historically discriminated against gays. Before the 1993 law, the Defense Department banned gays entirely and declared them incompatible with military service.

Douglas Smith, spokesman for U.S. Army Recruiting Command based at Fort Knox, Ky., said even before the ruling recruiters did not ask applicants about their sexual orientation. The difference now is that recruiters will process those who say they are gay.

“If they were to self admit that they are gay and want to enlist, we will process them for enlistment, but will tell them that the legal situation could change,” Smith said.

He said the enlistment process takes time and recruiters have been told to inform those who are openly gay that they could be declared ineligible if the law is upheld on appeal.

“U.S. Army Recruiting Command is going to follow the law, whatever the law is at the time,” he said.

U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillips, who had ordered the military to stop enforcing “don’t ask, don’t tell,” was expected to deny the administration’s request to delay her order. That would send the case to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals.

After Phillips’ ruling last week, Omar Lopez - discharged from the Navy in 2006 after admitting his gay status to his military doctor - walked into an Army recruiting office in Austin and asked if he could re-enlist. He said he was up front, even showing the recruiters his Navy discharge papers.

“They just said, `I can’t let you re-enlist because we haven’t got anything down from the chain of command,’” Lopez, 29, told the AP in a telephone interview. “They were courteous and apologetic, but they couldn’t help me.”

Smith was unable to confirm the account. She said guidance on gay applicants had been issued to recruiting commands on Oct. 15.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/politics/2013200434_apusgaysinmilitaryrecruiting.html?syndication=rss

http://www.imdb.com/news/ni5013253/

Great, now even ZOMBIES are doing marathons- I am SO screwed :-(

briandgregory:

Run Zombie, Run!